Lesson 17

My best friend on the entire planet is the one I’ve dubbed The Pillow-Woman.
She knows why.

She is my sister from another mister.
My soulmate.

Most days, despite her being all the way across the other side of the world (in Sydney), I speak (well… type) with her more than anyone else.
In the world.
On the planet.
If two days go by when I haven’t had some kind of correspondence with her, I feel out of sorts.
I’m addicted to her.
I can’t be without her.
I love her.

I’ve been thinking about what to write about The Pillow-Woman.
I mean, I do have a lot to say about her.
I have a lot of feelings about her.
Warm, fuzzy, loving feelings.
Now… I am wary of writing something very similar to Lesson Three.
But I do think that it’s about time she got her own post.
So we’re going to get through this together.
And cover new ground.

Because I have learnt a LOT from her.
From my friendship with her.
And I know that I need to share some of these lessons with you, dear readers.
Dear friends.
Dear disciples.
Dear bunnies.
If I’m Rabbit Ash, surely that makes you my bunnies… Right?

Pillow-Woman and I have been so vocal in our love for one another that my own father wondered out loud to my mother one day as to whether we were in a more romantic relationship than he’d realised?
She assured him that we were not.
That speaking publicly of love for one’s friends was just what the “kids do these days”.
That’s us.
“The kids”.
Us “kids” are so close that the Pillow-Mother is probably my most avid blog-reader after my own Ruthy!
Shout out to you, Pillow-Mother!

PW (her new nickname) and I first met when we were about 15.
We were cast in a play in which I was the drunken mother-of-the-bride to her glowing self.
We met again at uni.
We were in a show for the student theatre group in which I played Audrey Hepburn to her Marilyn Monroe.
By then I’d moved out of home and to her side of town and we decided to become theatre-going buddies.
And that we were.
We were rarely seen at a play or theatrical event without the other.
That and so much more.
We also produced a theatrical event together.
We started a pro-Melbourne-theatre facebook group/website together.
We networked our ways into jobs and parties.
And we became so joined at the hip that we developed the skills to telepathically read each other’s messages from the other side of the room.
“Time to go.”
“Save me from this conversation.”
“Introduce me to that man.”
You know, standard BFF fare!

I ruined everything.
I decided to leave the country.
And so, not even six months later, PW also flew the nest and found herself in a new state.
We were each in a state of flux.
But apart.

I could tell you all the ways in which we have made efforts to keep in touch.
To ensure that we don’t lose touch.
But I did already give you some of that information in the afore-mentioned previous post…
I could tell you how much and how deeply I miss her.
But that’s a never-ending list that would drain us all…
So I will share with you all the lessons I have learnt with her along the way.

Lesson 17

Be assertive.

When you’re with your best woman and you’re trying to chicken out of greeting the actor you’re both there to stalk, allow your sister-in-arms to rally you (and your courage) and go do!

Be a networking professional.

When you’re with your best woman and you’re at a theatre event filled with industry leaders, allow your sister-in-arms to initiate conversations on your behalf (and vice versa).
Based on our experiences, it could lead to each of you being offered paid work!

Be a fierce woman.

When you’re with your best woman and you’re at a gathering that a secret-ex of yours also happens to be at and you’re trying to play it cool when you (and she – PW, I mean) know that you’re dying on the inside, allow your sister-in-arms to take you by that arm and steer you to the opposite side of the room. Also allow her to text you secretly throughout the night, or make asides that only you can hear, about what an idiot he is and how awful his date for the evening is and looks.

Be fragile.

When you’re away from your best woman but you’re struggling with feelings of loneliness, lack of self-worth, career-frustration or general melancholy, allow your sister-in-arms to text you with constant words of wisdom and support. She’ll probably also send you GIF’s, pics, voice messages, FB love and occasionally a postcard. Enjoy all of these.

Be her BEST friend.

When your best woman has been your steadfast support for years…
When she has flown from Sydney to Melbourne just to see you off at the aiport before you fly back to the UK…
When she has sourced amazing birthday presents from stockists who sent you a personalised card to arrive on your actual birthdate…
When she has learnt everything she can about you and knows you better than you know yourself…
THEN it is your job to be her rock also.

There is no single (or married – ha! #comedygoldwithtash) person on this planet who knows me better than my PW.
There are a few family members who could rival her in the love stakes, but I feel like she’d put up a pretty good fight there too!
I’d be lost without her.
Some days she – or I – or us both – feel lost.
This is part of the #humancondition after all…
But, in the midst of all of that, I know that she is always there.

And I’m always there for her.

Lesson 17 = Learn From Your Best People




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